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The pressure to conform to model-measurements is taking its toll on many young women in Russia. Anorexia is on the rise and there’s only one clinic in the country specialising in the eating disorder. Doctors are calling for greater education and awareness to help fight the problem.
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When I first started out learning how to meet women, I remember that I had a feeling inside like, “I’m afraid to just walk up to a strange woman and start talking.â€Â
I thought of all kinds of things that could go wrong.
“What if she has a boyfriend nearby who easily gets jealous and wants to beat me up?â€Â
“What if she says something that puts me down and makes me feel bad?â€Â
“What if she says something to someone else about me being a loser because I tried to talk to her?â€Â
All of these different ideas combined inside of me to give me a general fear of meeting women.
I’ve since learned that none of my worst fears would come true when meeting a new woman. I’ve met hundreds and hundreds of women over the last few years – and none (NONE!) have reacted or caused anything to happen that I couldn’t handle in the moment.
In the process I realized something very important: No tactic works on every woman. Some women are not interested in meeting someone right now.
Some women are lesbians and have no interest in men.
Some women are happily married or in a relationship and don’t want to meet someone new right now.
Some women are angry.
Some are cold.
My guess is that in a random group of 100 women, only about 30 of them might be open to meeting someone new right now (in a romantic sense).
What this means is that 70 AREN’T interested in meeting someone new.
And of the 30 who are interested in meeting someone new, maybe only 15 are nice, friendly, happy people. Do you see where I’m going?
If you want to be successful at meeting women, you have to understand that many of the women you talk to aren’t interested. Most people take things like this PERSONALLY. Instead of just moving on to the next woman, they get all uptight and feel bad about it. I’ve now learned a better way.
I also learned something else that helped me dramatically.
I learned that women are used to being approached, flirted with, and picked up on in general by men. Even women who are what you might call ‘average’ are approached by men on a pretty regular basis. So when you’re about to approach a woman, keep in mind that it’s not like you’re going to try something that she’s never heard of before and shock her. You may not be totally comfortable yet just walking up to any woman, but she’ll be relatively OK with it.
And remember, if she’s not interested, it’s most likely that she’s not interested in anyone right now. Of course it’s true that she might not be interested in your ‘type’ or you may have acted in a way that she didn’t like, but the fact is that no matter what happens, you’ll find that it’s no big deal.
Just move on.
When I first started my journey, I realized that some of the greatest memories that my friends and I have are when something bad happened to one of us. Looking back, we usually laugh about these things and make fun of each other and ourselves.
So I thought about it, and I realized that getting rejected really harshly by a woman would actually be a funny thing. I imagined my best friend and I saying, “Hey, remember that time when I walked up to that girl in the mall and said “Hiâ€Â, but she told me that she doesn’t date men who look like Pee Wee Herman? Ha ha ha ha…â€Â
Think of it this way: If you get shut down really hard, just tell a couple of friends. They may not let you live it down, but at least you can laugh about it! (And if you have friends that won’t help you laugh about it, then you need some new ones.)
Another part of the attitude equation that I realized is that different women respond to different looks, personalities, etc. One woman might only like men who dress in suits and ties, while another might only like women who dress like bad boy rockers. Whatever style you develop, DON’T CHANGE IT JUST BECAUSE SOME WOMEN DON’T LIKE IT.
The price of big success is having some people dislike you. So once you find a style that works for you, stick with it, and only change it because YOU choose to do so!
Double Your Dating – What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women. David DeAngelo will show you the secrets that most men will never know about women. Improve your dating with David’s dating tips and dating advice at http://www.DoubleYourDating.com
With the growing popularity of online dating as a valid, fun and useful way to meet people, La Trobe University’s School of Public Health and the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society are conducting a project to find out about the experiences of young adults who use online dating. In particular they’re looking to interview people between the ages of 18 and 30.
This project grew out of a smaller study conducted by one of the researchers, Danielle Couch, when she was studying and using online dating herself:
‘I’d used various online dating sites to meet people and had my own little processes for making my way through the online dating world. I’d send a wink or a kiss, maybe we’d correspond via a few emails or chat online for a while. Then if we decided to meet face to face I’d want to think about when and where that would be. I started wondering if other people followed the same kind of routine or did they do things differently. So I started developing a research idea.
The outcome of Danielle’s ponderings was a small research project as part of her post-graduate studies. She interviewed 15 people online, using chat. In the interviews the participants chatted online about their own online dating experiences, what they did and didn’t do to manage risk, how many people they’d met, how many people they’d had sex with through online dating, did they take safety precautions, were they into safe sex and how did it all compare to meeting people in other ways.
Working in public health, I knew there’d been some research in the US looking at the relationship between online dating and the spread of sexually transmitted infections – how the internet can let you meet people quickly and how it could be an efficient way to access casual sex partners and potentially spread infection. I wondered was this relevant in Australia? Did other online daters think about this stuff? Was it any different to going out and picking someone up in a bar on the weekend?’
The interviews ranged from 30 minutes to 3 hours in duration, depending on what each person wanted to share and what else they were doing at the time.
One of the things about interviewing people online is that you have to recognise they’re probably multi-tasking. We all do it when we’re online. So I knew when I was chatting with people I was one of several things they might be doing – that’s just the reality of being online. I had one memorable interview where a participant was in four other dating related chats and also watching some sexually explicit webcam action. I remember her apologising to me at one stage as she was a bit slow in responding to one of my questions as she was getting distracted by the web-cam show.
The general consensus was the people interviewed enjoyed the process; in fact several interviewees would often update Danielle via chat on their most recent experiences as they wanted these included in the project.
The findings from this earlier study have led to the current project. Over the next few months the researchers are looking to interview between 30 and 40 people via chat about their online dating experiences. If you’d like to be part of this project and share your thoughts, experiences and opinions about online dating then just add onlinedating@latrobe.edu.au to your messenger or visit project webpage to find out more. All interviews will be confidential.
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What happened when SpeedDate.com and meebo invited 8 celebrity bloggers to an online speed dating event? See which blogger found a date for the holiday party!
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